Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
