I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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