i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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