Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
