found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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