States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
