he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
