I'm really into asian looking animals
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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