How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You are the jesus of drinking
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
