You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
