He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
