moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
