Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
