have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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