I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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