the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
