I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
