You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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