are you still at the devil's house?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
