Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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