i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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