I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
