The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
