i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
