Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
