I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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