forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He? As in you personified your dick?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
