i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
