O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
