What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
