that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
