Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
