I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
