the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
