You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
