He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
