glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
