Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
