I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
