you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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