Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
