I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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