i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
