I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
