Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
