The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
