Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
