your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
