He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
