And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
